How this all started

So, I'm 34 and I have breast cancer. Weird. I've had so many people ask me how this all started, and I thought I'd share that here. Honestly, I want to share so that I never EVER forget. I want to share so my girls will always know. And, I want to share so that any of you reading this will take a closer look at any symptoms you may be having. Feel free to skip on past this post if it's TMI. That's not my intention at all.

It all started when I noticed a lump in my armpit while I was taking a shower in November. (I think.) We moved into our new house in October, so I know it wasn't before then. Ever since having Charlotte, I have had a little pocket of breast tissue in my armpit. I call it my golf ball. (I know, TMI.) It's not a big deal, happens a lot, and my doctor has checked it numerous times. But, in November it changed. I noticed a lump in there, and it just didn't feel right. I tried to blow it off, but I couldn't really stop thinking about it. I did a little research, but didn't get too alarmed because most things say that breast cancer doesn't hurt, and my lump was sore. I thought it was probably a cyst.

David and I went to New York in early December to visit his brother and sister in law. My sister in law's mom had breast cancer when we were young, so I asked her a few questions. As soon as she said that her mom went in because of pain, I knew I had to check it out. We got home on a Tuesday, and I called my doctor Wednesday morning. They actually got me in at 10:00 that day.

Side Note: If you do not have an OBGYN in Dallas, PLEASE call Liesl Smith. She has been my doctor since I was 18, and I cannot tell you how wonderful she is! When my grandmother was dying two years ago, I called to ask her a few medical questions. She is an OBGYN and I was seriously asking brain surgeon questions. She called me back personally several times to give her opinion and check on me. I'll tell you more about her later, but I love her.

Ok, so I went to the doctor and she did a breast exam. She felt the lump, but nothing else. She told me I should have a mammogram just in case, but she thought it was probably a cyst too. I could tell she was a little worried, but I didn't get too worked up over it.

So, off to the mammogram place I went. They couldn't get me in for over a week, but after more pain, I got put on the schedule a little earlier. I thought if it was serious, they would have put me on the schedule immediately. I told David not to go with me. We'll both just be nervous and everything would be fine. Good times. I went for the mammogram first. Honestly ladies, it is NOT that bad! The nurse was sweet and helpful and it was over quickly. Then, I had a sonogram. I knew things weren't good during that session. The radiologist came in and looked at everything. She told me I would need a biopsy on the spot in my armpit and a large spot in my breast. (Remember, my doctor seriously didn't feel a thing in my breast.) She also said she was "in the 90's" percentage wise that this was cancer. My heart sank. After that, they gave me a form to call and schedule the biopsy and then sent me on my way. I stepped into the hallway, called David, and lost it. Keep in mind, this is 4 days before Christmas. Henry was about to have surgery to have tubes put in, and Christmas was just a few days away. I couldn't get a biopsy until after Christmas, so I just had to wait.

Those were some of the hardest days of my life. The kids had a wonderful Christmas break, and I don't think they noticed a thing. But, when they went to bed, the fear crept in. Was the cancer everywhere? Was I going to die? How long would I have? Would I get to see my kids grow up? If not, Henry wouldn't even remember me. It was just awful.

I am SO thankful for a husband who loves me and who loves the Lord. He prayed and held me while I cried. He wouldn't let himself go to those places, and he tried to keep me from going there too. It was just a very hard time.

Gotta go pick the kids up from Awana and Choir. More on the biopsy and tests later. Thanks for letting me ramble and for reading so far!