Hey! I made it through my first round of chemo, AND it's almost February!! Hallelujah!
I know so many people are praying for us, and I cannot begin to thank you enough or tell you how much that has meant to us. I truly feel uplifted and so encouraged.
I wanted to give you a few things to pray for specifically.
First, I need my tumor in my armpit to shrink! It may or may not, but it would give David and I such peace of mind if it even got slightly smaller. If it gets bigger, chemo gets put on hold and we do surgery immediately. If it stays the same, I think we continue. We will be asking more questions this week at my next infusion. But, we would love prayers that it gets smaller so we know for sure that the chemo is working. (The chemo will NOT even come close to getting rid of all my cancer. That is not the goal. The goal is to try and kill any cells in my body that are just floating around. If we can tell that the chemo is affecting my tumor, we know that it is killing any rogue cells as well.)
Next prayer is for my genetic testing. I met with a genetic counselor today, and it was extremely interesting. Normally, David is the one asking all the questions, and today it was me. I don't know why, but that seemed like a small victory to me. I felt slightly less overwhelmed and was able to participate more in the conversation. In our entire marriage, David has always been the more detail oriented person in our relationship. (If you know us well, you should totally be nodding your head right now. Ha!) I am the one that usually just smiles and goes with whatever the doctor says. Today felt nice to be able to ask more questions and just feel slightly more in control of my emotions. Anyway...I will have 28 different genes tested to see if one of them is broken. If a gene is broken we will be able to tell a few more things about my cancer and if I am more susceptible to other types of cancer. If a gene is broken, my entire family will have to undergo testing as well. Our kids will have to do testing at some point, and they will be more likely to have a broken gene or get other types of cancers. Basically, we are praying that the testing comes back "negative." Although it might be frustrating for me to not know why or what caused this, it would be SO much better for my children and family. Their risk would decrease significantly. Please pray for a "negative" result.
Finally, I have my second round of chemo on Friday. I am feeling fairly normal this week. I don't know if "normal" is a good word to use, but I don't feel quite as tired and definitely more like myself. (I completely HATE this stupid port, but that's another story.) Friday will be the beginning of another full week of exhaustion, nausea, and just not feeling like myself. The kids have been so sweet about it all, but I know they notice. I will also probably lose my hair this weekend or early next week. I still get pretty teary whenever I think about it, but I know it will just be another step to getting well. Please pray for peace as that happens, and for endurance and strength as I deal with the chemo this weekend and next week. Pray for David and the kids as things aren't normal for a few days again. I know that is so hard on all of them.
Thank you again for loving us through this. I feel like Moses sometimes. When my arms get tired, someone always comes along to lift them up again. Thank you for praying and for being the hands and feet of Jesus. It means more to me than I could ever say.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
How this all started
So, I'm 34 and I have breast cancer. Weird. I've had so many people ask me how this all started, and I thought I'd share that here. Honestly, I want to share so that I never EVER forget. I want to share so my girls will always know. And, I want to share so that any of you reading this will take a closer look at any symptoms you may be having. Feel free to skip on past this post if it's TMI. That's not my intention at all.
It all started when I noticed a lump in my armpit while I was taking a shower in November. (I think.) We moved into our new house in October, so I know it wasn't before then. Ever since having Charlotte, I have had a little pocket of breast tissue in my armpit. I call it my golf ball. (I know, TMI.) It's not a big deal, happens a lot, and my doctor has checked it numerous times. But, in November it changed. I noticed a lump in there, and it just didn't feel right. I tried to blow it off, but I couldn't really stop thinking about it. I did a little research, but didn't get too alarmed because most things say that breast cancer doesn't hurt, and my lump was sore. I thought it was probably a cyst.
David and I went to New York in early December to visit his brother and sister in law. My sister in law's mom had breast cancer when we were young, so I asked her a few questions. As soon as she said that her mom went in because of pain, I knew I had to check it out. We got home on a Tuesday, and I called my doctor Wednesday morning. They actually got me in at 10:00 that day.
Side Note: If you do not have an OBGYN in Dallas, PLEASE call Liesl Smith. She has been my doctor since I was 18, and I cannot tell you how wonderful she is! When my grandmother was dying two years ago, I called to ask her a few medical questions. She is an OBGYN and I was seriously asking brain surgeon questions. She called me back personally several times to give her opinion and check on me. I'll tell you more about her later, but I love her.
Ok, so I went to the doctor and she did a breast exam. She felt the lump, but nothing else. She told me I should have a mammogram just in case, but she thought it was probably a cyst too. I could tell she was a little worried, but I didn't get too worked up over it.
So, off to the mammogram place I went. They couldn't get me in for over a week, but after more pain, I got put on the schedule a little earlier. I thought if it was serious, they would have put me on the schedule immediately. I told David not to go with me. We'll both just be nervous and everything would be fine. Good times. I went for the mammogram first. Honestly ladies, it is NOT that bad! The nurse was sweet and helpful and it was over quickly. Then, I had a sonogram. I knew things weren't good during that session. The radiologist came in and looked at everything. She told me I would need a biopsy on the spot in my armpit and a large spot in my breast. (Remember, my doctor seriously didn't feel a thing in my breast.) She also said she was "in the 90's" percentage wise that this was cancer. My heart sank. After that, they gave me a form to call and schedule the biopsy and then sent me on my way. I stepped into the hallway, called David, and lost it. Keep in mind, this is 4 days before Christmas. Henry was about to have surgery to have tubes put in, and Christmas was just a few days away. I couldn't get a biopsy until after Christmas, so I just had to wait.
Those were some of the hardest days of my life. The kids had a wonderful Christmas break, and I don't think they noticed a thing. But, when they went to bed, the fear crept in. Was the cancer everywhere? Was I going to die? How long would I have? Would I get to see my kids grow up? If not, Henry wouldn't even remember me. It was just awful.
I am SO thankful for a husband who loves me and who loves the Lord. He prayed and held me while I cried. He wouldn't let himself go to those places, and he tried to keep me from going there too. It was just a very hard time.
Gotta go pick the kids up from Awana and Choir. More on the biopsy and tests later. Thanks for letting me ramble and for reading so far!
It all started when I noticed a lump in my armpit while I was taking a shower in November. (I think.) We moved into our new house in October, so I know it wasn't before then. Ever since having Charlotte, I have had a little pocket of breast tissue in my armpit. I call it my golf ball. (I know, TMI.) It's not a big deal, happens a lot, and my doctor has checked it numerous times. But, in November it changed. I noticed a lump in there, and it just didn't feel right. I tried to blow it off, but I couldn't really stop thinking about it. I did a little research, but didn't get too alarmed because most things say that breast cancer doesn't hurt, and my lump was sore. I thought it was probably a cyst.
David and I went to New York in early December to visit his brother and sister in law. My sister in law's mom had breast cancer when we were young, so I asked her a few questions. As soon as she said that her mom went in because of pain, I knew I had to check it out. We got home on a Tuesday, and I called my doctor Wednesday morning. They actually got me in at 10:00 that day.
Side Note: If you do not have an OBGYN in Dallas, PLEASE call Liesl Smith. She has been my doctor since I was 18, and I cannot tell you how wonderful she is! When my grandmother was dying two years ago, I called to ask her a few medical questions. She is an OBGYN and I was seriously asking brain surgeon questions. She called me back personally several times to give her opinion and check on me. I'll tell you more about her later, but I love her.
Ok, so I went to the doctor and she did a breast exam. She felt the lump, but nothing else. She told me I should have a mammogram just in case, but she thought it was probably a cyst too. I could tell she was a little worried, but I didn't get too worked up over it.
So, off to the mammogram place I went. They couldn't get me in for over a week, but after more pain, I got put on the schedule a little earlier. I thought if it was serious, they would have put me on the schedule immediately. I told David not to go with me. We'll both just be nervous and everything would be fine. Good times. I went for the mammogram first. Honestly ladies, it is NOT that bad! The nurse was sweet and helpful and it was over quickly. Then, I had a sonogram. I knew things weren't good during that session. The radiologist came in and looked at everything. She told me I would need a biopsy on the spot in my armpit and a large spot in my breast. (Remember, my doctor seriously didn't feel a thing in my breast.) She also said she was "in the 90's" percentage wise that this was cancer. My heart sank. After that, they gave me a form to call and schedule the biopsy and then sent me on my way. I stepped into the hallway, called David, and lost it. Keep in mind, this is 4 days before Christmas. Henry was about to have surgery to have tubes put in, and Christmas was just a few days away. I couldn't get a biopsy until after Christmas, so I just had to wait.
Those were some of the hardest days of my life. The kids had a wonderful Christmas break, and I don't think they noticed a thing. But, when they went to bed, the fear crept in. Was the cancer everywhere? Was I going to die? How long would I have? Would I get to see my kids grow up? If not, Henry wouldn't even remember me. It was just awful.
I am SO thankful for a husband who loves me and who loves the Lord. He prayed and held me while I cried. He wouldn't let himself go to those places, and he tried to keep me from going there too. It was just a very hard time.
Gotta go pick the kids up from Awana and Choir. More on the biopsy and tests later. Thanks for letting me ramble and for reading so far!
1 down, 15 to go
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I made it through my first round of chemo! Hallelujah! I also made it through Annie's birthday weekend, and I was able to participate in everything! Serious praise the Lord here!
I got my chemo Thursday and was really tired that night. I was a little nauseus, but it wasn't terrible. I was on some serious anti-nausea meds for about 6 days, and other than the exhaustion, it wasn't too bad. I slept a lot on Friday, took a nap after Annie's party on Saturday, and took a serious Sunday afternoon nap. My body is crazy achy, but I expected that. I'm not sure if that is from the chemo meds or the shot they gave me to start menopause. (Again, another thing I never thought I'd write at the age of 34.) I was able to get up early and get Annie some birthday donuts on Monday, and I haven't really missed too much this week. We have had amazing family and friends bringing us meals, and that has been SUCH a help! I can rest in the afternoon/early evening and sit and play a game with the kids instead of cooking. That has been huge for me!
Thank you SO much for praying for us! I have truly felt it. This last week hasn't been fun at all, but it hasn't been as bad as I expected. I know it will get harder each round until March. After that, they said the other chemo I will be on is much easier. I am still dreading my hair falling out and all that goes with that. Please pray for peace for me as that happens. I know it is just another step to getting well, but it's just so very hard. Please also pray for David. This is so hard for him as well.
Thank you for loving us and for praying for us. Your texts, calls, emails, and cards have truly lifted us up and been such an encouragement.
I will update the blog with some more info later, and we have a genetic counseling appointment next week. I'm hoping for more information for sure from that meeting. (If they tell me that chemo doesn't help my type of cancer, I may kill someone!) My next infusion is Friday, February 3rd. After that, I will be half way done with the Red Devil. Here we go!
I got my chemo Thursday and was really tired that night. I was a little nauseus, but it wasn't terrible. I was on some serious anti-nausea meds for about 6 days, and other than the exhaustion, it wasn't too bad. I slept a lot on Friday, took a nap after Annie's party on Saturday, and took a serious Sunday afternoon nap. My body is crazy achy, but I expected that. I'm not sure if that is from the chemo meds or the shot they gave me to start menopause. (Again, another thing I never thought I'd write at the age of 34.) I was able to get up early and get Annie some birthday donuts on Monday, and I haven't really missed too much this week. We have had amazing family and friends bringing us meals, and that has been SUCH a help! I can rest in the afternoon/early evening and sit and play a game with the kids instead of cooking. That has been huge for me!
Thank you SO much for praying for us! I have truly felt it. This last week hasn't been fun at all, but it hasn't been as bad as I expected. I know it will get harder each round until March. After that, they said the other chemo I will be on is much easier. I am still dreading my hair falling out and all that goes with that. Please pray for peace for me as that happens. I know it is just another step to getting well, but it's just so very hard. Please also pray for David. This is so hard for him as well.
Thank you for loving us and for praying for us. Your texts, calls, emails, and cards have truly lifted us up and been such an encouragement.
I will update the blog with some more info later, and we have a genetic counseling appointment next week. I'm hoping for more information for sure from that meeting. (If they tell me that chemo doesn't help my type of cancer, I may kill someone!) My next infusion is Friday, February 3rd. After that, I will be half way done with the Red Devil. Here we go!
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Why 12?
I thought I'd tell you why I chose the name for my blog. David and I came up with a list first. Some of my favorites were...
-Tits and Giggles
I really wanted to choose this one, but I wasn't sure how I would tell some people to go check my blog with that name. "Hey Pastor Rick! Go read my blog. It's called Tits and Giggles." Nope. I just couldn't do it. This one was David's idea though, and I LOVE IT!
-Katie Saves 2nd Base
-Katie Kicks Cancer
-Bald Headed Woman
This one wouldn't have made sense to anyone, but I thought it was so funny. There is a BeeGee's song called "More than a Woman." My uncle, Jomie, used to sing it to us, but he always said "Bald Headed Woman!" David came up with that one too.
-In All Things
When I found out I had cancer, my friend, Alan, sent me a video of Kristene DiMarco singing "It is Well." It is so beautiful, and definitely a song I have listened to a lot lately. My sister, Natalie, also suggested 'It is Well' for a blog title. I liked it. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced in my life. I am scared to death of what could happen, what will happen, and how it will all affect my family. But, one thing I am not even slightly afraid of is dying. I truly mean that. I don't want to leave my husband and children, but I am completely confident that if it were time for me to go, I would go straight into the arms of Jesus. I hope you know that for yourself too. Heaven is so much better than this world and all of its troubles. I look forward to the day when I can look into his face and hug my Mamaw who will be standing right next to him. It will be amazing. Hopefully that day won't come for many, many years, but no matter what, it is well.
The 12 in my url is because "It is Well" was already taken. Ha! So, I took a few verses from Hebrews 12.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:1-3
I may grow weary, but I will not lose heart. Losing my hair and feeling sick will not compare with the pain Jesus went through for me.
-Tits and Giggles
I really wanted to choose this one, but I wasn't sure how I would tell some people to go check my blog with that name. "Hey Pastor Rick! Go read my blog. It's called Tits and Giggles." Nope. I just couldn't do it. This one was David's idea though, and I LOVE IT!
-Katie Saves 2nd Base
-Katie Kicks Cancer
-Bald Headed Woman
This one wouldn't have made sense to anyone, but I thought it was so funny. There is a BeeGee's song called "More than a Woman." My uncle, Jomie, used to sing it to us, but he always said "Bald Headed Woman!" David came up with that one too.
-In All Things
When I found out I had cancer, my friend, Alan, sent me a video of Kristene DiMarco singing "It is Well." It is so beautiful, and definitely a song I have listened to a lot lately. My sister, Natalie, also suggested 'It is Well' for a blog title. I liked it. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever faced in my life. I am scared to death of what could happen, what will happen, and how it will all affect my family. But, one thing I am not even slightly afraid of is dying. I truly mean that. I don't want to leave my husband and children, but I am completely confident that if it were time for me to go, I would go straight into the arms of Jesus. I hope you know that for yourself too. Heaven is so much better than this world and all of its troubles. I look forward to the day when I can look into his face and hug my Mamaw who will be standing right next to him. It will be amazing. Hopefully that day won't come for many, many years, but no matter what, it is well.
The 12 in my url is because "It is Well" was already taken. Ha! So, I took a few verses from Hebrews 12.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:1-3
I may grow weary, but I will not lose heart. Losing my hair and feeling sick will not compare with the pain Jesus went through for me.
The Red Devil
Today starts the first day of my fight against cancer. I met with my oncologist this morning and now I'm sitting here getting chemo. (Now, those are a couple sentences I never thought I'd write.)
I am getting a type of chemo called AC. This is also nicknamed "The Red Devil." I'm not super pumped about taking any of this, but hopefully it will do its job.
I am getting a type of chemo called AC. This is also nicknamed "The Red Devil." I'm not super pumped about taking any of this, but hopefully it will do its job.
It has started though. I can't even begin to describe the emotions I've experienced leading up to this day. I will do anything I have to do to get better and to be here to raise my kids and retire with David someday. It's just so very hard. David described it the other day to someone as feeling heavy. That's a perfect description for it. My heart just feels heavy. I hate all the decisions we are making, the medicines I'm taking, and I really hate thinking through all the ways that this is affecting our children.
Please pray for us. I don't know that I've ever needed prayer more. Today is one of many steps into the unknown for me. I have no idea how my body will react. I don't know how this will affect my time with my sweet kiddos. I don't know how much energy I will have to participate in life. I just don't know. I know I will find out soon.
I do know that without this treatment, I will not get well. I do know that our family has been amazing to fill the gaps for us. I do know that our church family is a group of the kindest people you will ever meet. I do know that I have the absolute best friends in the world. I do know that I married the perfect person for me. David has been amazing. I don't know what I would do without him.
I do know that I serve a loving and merciful God who will never leave me or forsake me. He has carried me through this whole process. I have felt him by my side. I have heard his still, soft voice, and I have watched him answer my prayers. I don't know why I have to go through this, but I will trust him no matter what. I will trust that his plan is better than mine. I will trust that he loves my children more than I could ever imagine. I will trust that he will bring beauty out of ashes.
As much as I love and trust God, this is still just so very hard. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for loving us in so many ways. Thank you for all your kind words.
As I sit here, I will add some more posts to the blog to give you more background. Thank you again, and please keep praying!
Monday, January 16, 2017
Living in the Unknown
Well, this week will be very different from any we have ever known.
First, tomorrow I will go to the hospital and take a class on how to deal with chemo. I don't have a desire to go back to school for another degree, but I would gladly do that instead of taking this class! Then, Wednesday morning I will have a port put in my chest. Another thing I do NOT want to do. Finally, Thursday I will start chemotherapy.
This week will start a very long process to get this cancer out of my body. The whole process seems completely overwhelming, but I know God is walking right next to me down this path. We will continue to trust even when it doesn't seem fair or even possible.
We would appreciate your prayers this week as we feel completely stuck in the unknown. I have no idea what to expect at each appointment. I have no idea what chemo will do to my body. I have no idea how I will feel when my hair falls out. I have no idea how my children will handle all this. It's just the weirdest feeling...not knowing.
Thank you for praying us through this so far! We have felt lifted up through every step, and we are truly thankful. I know so many of you have offered to help, and we will probably need that soon. I think we will have a meal plan sent out soon. Thank you for your messages, packages, texts, emails, and simple kind words. They have meant the world to me.
I'll post how this all started soon. I definitely want to make more women aware of what could be going on in their body. At 34 and with NO history of cancer in my family, I was completely blindsided. I don't want that for anyone else.
First, tomorrow I will go to the hospital and take a class on how to deal with chemo. I don't have a desire to go back to school for another degree, but I would gladly do that instead of taking this class! Then, Wednesday morning I will have a port put in my chest. Another thing I do NOT want to do. Finally, Thursday I will start chemotherapy.
This week will start a very long process to get this cancer out of my body. The whole process seems completely overwhelming, but I know God is walking right next to me down this path. We will continue to trust even when it doesn't seem fair or even possible.
We would appreciate your prayers this week as we feel completely stuck in the unknown. I have no idea what to expect at each appointment. I have no idea what chemo will do to my body. I have no idea how I will feel when my hair falls out. I have no idea how my children will handle all this. It's just the weirdest feeling...not knowing.
Thank you for praying us through this so far! We have felt lifted up through every step, and we are truly thankful. I know so many of you have offered to help, and we will probably need that soon. I think we will have a meal plan sent out soon. Thank you for your messages, packages, texts, emails, and simple kind words. They have meant the world to me.
I'll post how this all started soon. I definitely want to make more women aware of what could be going on in their body. At 34 and with NO history of cancer in my family, I was completely blindsided. I don't want that for anyone else.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Hello
Hi everyone!
I've started this blog as a way for friends and family to stay up to date on what is going on in our lives. Your kind words, messages, texts, emails, and prayers mean more to me than I could ever explain. Thank you doesn't seem adequate. Please know that you have encouraged me and held me up during the most difficult month of my life.
Your prayers have been felt every single day. Thank you for helping me get through each day. I know that God is carrying me through. The appointments, needles, and information are all overwhelming, but I can feel the prayers of the saints as I walk this road.
I am also keeping this blog as a way for me to remember all the things we have and will experience this year. I don't ever want to forget all the details, and I want to always remember all the ways (big and small) that God works in and through me and our family.
Thank you for reading, and I promise to try to keep you posted on what is going on with my treatment, needs we have, and ways to pray for us.
THANK YOU for loving us and praying for us. Your love and friendship mean so very much to me.
Love,
Katie
I've started this blog as a way for friends and family to stay up to date on what is going on in our lives. Your kind words, messages, texts, emails, and prayers mean more to me than I could ever explain. Thank you doesn't seem adequate. Please know that you have encouraged me and held me up during the most difficult month of my life.
Your prayers have been felt every single day. Thank you for helping me get through each day. I know that God is carrying me through. The appointments, needles, and information are all overwhelming, but I can feel the prayers of the saints as I walk this road.
I am also keeping this blog as a way for me to remember all the things we have and will experience this year. I don't ever want to forget all the details, and I want to always remember all the ways (big and small) that God works in and through me and our family.
Thank you for reading, and I promise to try to keep you posted on what is going on with my treatment, needs we have, and ways to pray for us.
THANK YOU for loving us and praying for us. Your love and friendship mean so very much to me.
Love,
Katie
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