What's going on...

I know I said I would post sooner than this, so please forgive me. We got my pathology reports back and there were still some decisions to be made. So, we waited on all that, made  more decisions, and have just been processing and healing.

So, here's what they found out...
-ALL of the invasive ductal carcinoma is out of my body. Praise the Lord! Those margins were all clear.
-I had 3 out of 12 lymph nodes test positive for cancer involvement.
-The margin is not completely clear though. I still have 3 tiny spots that have Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. Basically, that is the beginning of cancer and those spots are not spreading.

So, last week we were confused and disappointed. We were really hoping for a completely clear report and no more major decisions needing to be made. That wasn't quite what we got. We got mostly good news though. We met with my oncologist on Monday, and she seemed fairly happy with the results. She is going to have them test my lymph nodes again to make sure the cancer that was in them was still hormonally driven. If not, I will have to take an oral chemo pill. Yuck! My oncologist is fairly sure that they haven't changed, but she's going to check them anyway.

Bascially, the tiny cancer spots they found could have meant that I needed additional surgery to remove more tissue. After the entire breast cancer team at Presby met last week, they all decided NOT to do surgery. They think that radiation will take care of any remaining cancer cells. This is all so hard to understand, but I'm grasping it better with each day. Basically, the tissue they took out to test as a margin had "focally present" in situ (non growing) cancer cells on the top. They were not imbedded through the margin, and could still be within the margin of error. So, radiation should take care of anything else that was left in that spot. I was really upset about all this at first, but now I feel really positive about it. I don't think that I am considered "cancer free" until after radiation, but I feel like it already.

We met with the radiologist last week, and she was wonderful too. She's actually a young mom that lives here in Lake Highlands, and we have actually talked once on facebook already. I was asking questions a few months ago, and she was so sweet to help answer them. She was really encouraging and seemed to think the radiation would take care of any possible cancer cells that might be there. I see her again next Tuesday to get prepared for radiation. I think I will start the first week of August. I will have daily radiation treatments for 5 1/2-6 weeks. Fun. I will get a pretty awesome sunburn and be pretty tired by the end, but everyone says this part is easier than chemo and surgery.

Yesterday I saw the plastic surgeon again. He is so kind and was very encouraging. He doesn't want to talk about any of the reconstruction process yet because we have to see how I do during radiation. Everything sort of hinges on my reaction to that. He did give me a "fill" in my tissue expanders. (Sorry, probably TMI, but I want to remember this process.) He used a magnet to find where the port in my expanders were. Then, he deadened the skin there. (He didn't need to because I couldn't feel a thing. Ha!) Then, he used saline to fill both sides a little more. Seriously, this whole process is the weirdest thing ever! I have to go back next week to fill the left side slightly more. Apparently during radiation, my left side may shrink down and could be very different than the other. We have to over fill because of that complications. Again, sorry, TMI. Ha!

After getting my "fill," I was actually pretty sore. It didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought, but it just felt weird. The strangest part though is that I got a TON more motion in my left arm yesterday afterwards. I can put my left arm behind my head now, and that is awesome. Again, this whole process is so weird.

Thank you so much for your prayers, cards, flowers, and kind words. You have all been such an encouragement to me. I feel like the hardest parts are (hopefully) behind me, but it still continues to be tough. I know it will be a new normal, but I am so ready to get back to normal.

Ways to pray:
-Please pray that the lymph nodes that they will retest still contain hormonally driven cancer cells so that I do not have to do further chemo.
-Pray for my skin during radiation. Please pray that it reacts well to radiation and that there are no complications. My reaction to radiation greatly affects my reconstruction process coming up.
-Please pray that my kids and I are able to enjoy the rest of summer. We only have a few weeks until school starts, and I know none of us are quite ready.
-Please pray that the Lord would heal my body completely and that I will never have to deal with any of this ever again.
-Please pray for wisdom in more decisions we make dealing with other surgeries and reconstruction.

Thank you again for loving us through this. Your support has meant the world to us.

Just a fun picture from our wedding, 13 years ago.

Watching the fireworks at Firewheel on the 4th of July.

Blurry, but fun!

This is just a silly picture, but it's one I want to remember. This is what I find in my bed most mornings. Henry usually gets up a few minutes before the girls and comes and climbs in our bed. He always leaves his little friends for us to find later. I know I'll miss these little things one day when they are older.

A recliner and some drains

Well, it's Saturday morning and I'm 5 days out from surgery. Praise the Lord that everything went well. I was SO nervous the few days before surgery, but I think both David and I felt your prayers that morning as we went in with a peace about everything. I only got emotional for a little bit and then everything got started.

We left our house with the kids asleep and Papa watching them until my parents could get there. We checked into the hospital at around 5:30 AM and went straight back to a room. I met with nurses and doctors and got dressed in my super fabulous hospital gown. The nurses came back to mark all the spots they would be operating on. I did tell her that if my port was still in when I woke up, I would go to Dr. Thomas' house later and have her take it out there. Ha! Have I mentioned that I hated that thing? Eventually, the anesthesiologist came in and we started talking about surgery. They took David and I to the recovery room and he put an epidural in. It was weird having an epidural without having a baby. It was much higher in my back and honestly worked wonderfully. This was the only time David was able to be in the room while I got an epidural. Honestly, after that, all I remember is counting the circle lights in the operating room and then waking up in recovery. I got sick once, but otherwise I think I did fine. (Again, I don't remember much.) I apparently told everyone I was hot because I had a fan next to me in recovery and a cold cloth on my head. I mean, the service was fabulous there. :)

I do remember getting up to my room and David, my dad, and Mr. Sergio were all there. Mom had to take Charlotte to the doctor. Bless her heart, she woke up with an ear ache the night before and her ear drum burst on the way to the doctor that afternoon. Please pray for her actually. Once we go in for a follow up with her pediatrician, we will be going to see the ENT because of the many ear infections she's had this semester. I think something is going on there.

I spent the night Monday and Tuesday in the hospital, and got to go home around 6 pm on Wednesday. It has been GLORIOUS to sleep in my own house and not have a zillion people come in around the clock to check IV's and vital signs. I have to say though, the doctors and nurses at Presby Dallas were absolutely amazing. I hope none of you ever have to go through any of this, but my doctors have been so wonderful. I would recommend them to anyone, and the nurses were so kind and helpful.

The pathology results should be back sometime next week. I am hoping for Monday, but since it's a holiday week, I'm guessing it'll be closer to Friday. I'll go in to the plastic surgeon's office on Monday to check drains and possibly have a few removed. We will see. I meet with the breast surgeon next Friday and my oncologist on July 10th. Radiation will probably start at the end of the month, and I'm hoping that will be easier than the rest of this stuff.

Please pray for continued healing. The doctors said my skin looked great and that everything looks good. (My skin is super important in all this as it will be affected greatly by the radiation.) The nurses all seemed to be impressed with my recovery, so that's good. David and I went on a walk around the neighborhood the other night, and that felt great. Please pray these drains will continue working without complications and that they will get to come out soon. They are not as bad as I expected them to be, but they are just annoying. I'll be SO glad when they are out.

I am so thankful that this week is almost over. I seriously can't believe it's already July. I remember thinking that we'd never get through February. God has been so good throughout this whole process, and we are so thankful for all our friends and family.

I do have to brag on my sweet nurse, David. He hasn't complained once and has just taken such great care of me. Monday is our 13th anniversary, and we will spend the day differently than we have ever spent any of our anniversaries. I could not be more thankful to have married him. Aside from deciding to follow Jesus, marrying David is the best decision I ever made. He is the kindest, sweetest, funniest man I know, and I will always be so grateful that he's my husband and best friend.

Thank you for praying, for all your kind messages, and just for always being there for us. I will keep updating the blog. I know I'll feel better and better with each day that passes, but I am ready to feel normal again. This is just so very hard. I hate that my kiddos are gone right now, but having them back won't be totally awesome either since I'm still not even close to 100%. Please pray for encouragement for me and that I won't get too down with how difficult this is.

Since I called the post "Recliner and some drains," here are some pictures of what we get to see a lot of lately....

This is where I've been sleeping. This was Mamaw's recliner that I have on loan from Papaw. I have to say it has been extremely comfortable. The kids will all be sad when we have to give it back. Ha!

Here are 2 out of my 4 drains. They are weird and gross, but hopefully won't be around too much longer.

And, this is my view most of the time. Hanging out on the couch watching Netflix. Yesterday I started a puzzle and did some Sudoku puzzles. Crazy times around here. Today, we have 2 fabulous guys installing some built in shelves around our piano. Hallelujah! So, I'm hiding back in our bedroom in the recliner. The rain is making me feel super cozy. I'll probably turn on a Harry Potter movie soon.

Thanks for listening and thanks for praying. God has been so faithful, and I know he will continue to be. I will update once we have the pathology reports. Love you all!