First, I met with my oncologist on December 4th. That was exactly 11 months since I was diagnosed. It was a great appointment. She told me to "go live my life." It felt amazing. I still have to take a pill everyday for the next 10 years, but after all I've gone through this year, that seems like such a breeze. She told me a few things I can do to try and keep the cancer from coming back (exercise, eat healthier, lose weight, take Vitamin D), but otherwise, we are just going to pray that every single cancer cell is gone and that the Lord never allows them to come back. I'll still praise him either way, but my hope is that I get to live a long and healthy life with my family, and that 2017 is the only time I have to walk down this road. It's been a brutal year, but God has been so good.
Ok, back to the doctor. Sorry, I get distracted. Ha! She said everything looked good in my bloodwork and that I was healing great. There are no worries at this point, and I will just go see her every 3 months for 2 years. Then, it's every 4 months for a year, and then every 6 months for 2 years. Finally, it will just be once a year. Yay!
The Friday of that week, I had my LAST surgery of 2017. Hallelujah! I think this surgery was harder than I expected, but it still went well. I was extremely frustrated the morning of the surgery because my vein blew. It's the first time that that's happened, and that nurse was not my favorite. Sorry. I was just really hoping that I wouldn't have to get poked anymore this year. The anesthesiologist and surgeon came back shortly after she put the IV in, and David pointed out to them that my arm was already swelling. They didn't like it either and said they'd give me a new IV once we were in the operating room. So, I was awake when we went back and had to have some gas while they put the new IV in. After that, I don't remember much. I woke up a few hours later asking David to take me to New York. Have I mentioned that I'm hoping that 2018 will be a year of traveling for us?!
I was actually really sick after waking up from this surgery which was SO not fun. Thankfully I was able to get in the car and come home to sleep a little more. After I woke up from my nap, I felt sore but much better. The kids came home from school to see me for a bit, and then went to the farm with Dee and Pete for the weekend. It was great to recover at home with David and not have anything looming ahead for this year. The surgeon did a little liposuction on my stomach (don't get excited ladies, it wasn't much, and it's not noticeable), and MAN, that hurts. Last night was the first night I rolled over in bed and didn't cringe from the pain. That was probably the most painful part of this surgery.
I can't even describe how good it feels to be done. Some days I want to dance and laugh and others I want to cry. I just can't believe it's finally over. I don't really think it's sunk in yet. It's just fabulous! Everything went well during surgery. I met with the plastic surgeon today and he seems pleased. I still have some swelling that may take a few months to finally settle down, but that is apparently normal. He doesn't see any additional surgeries that are needed at this point, and I am so grateful for that!
This next year I will have TONS of check ups with 5 different doctors, but every time I get my credit card out to pay that $35 copay, I am going to thank God that I get to pay. This year, I haven't paid for any appointments since March because chemo was so expensive. I met my out of pocket max in March. Yipes! It might be annoying to pay that $35, but I will be so thankful that I get to because that means I haven't maxed out on chemo. Praise the Lord!
I don't think I can express my gratitude to those of you reading this post. Truly, your prayers and kind words this year have carried me through. This was the hardest year I have ever had to endure. It was difficult for me, for David, for our children, and for our families. Cancer affected the way I felt, looked, acted, and just almost
everything about me. I hate it, but I will always be grateful for this year. This year taught me so much about the goodness of God. It taught me so much about myself and my marriage. I have never ever loved David like I do now. (And for those of you that know me, I've loved him for a very long time.) He has protected me and cared for me in ways I never thought he would have to this year. He is such a gift to me. This year reminded me about my amazing family. Our extended family has stepped in the gaps for us this year and taken care of us. They've done our laundry, paid to have our house cleaned, cooked for us, and watched and encouraged my children. I could never repay them in a million years. This year has taught me what wonderful friends we have. Y'all, seriously, the people in our lives are amazing. Thank you for watching our kids, making us meals, and just being so extraordinarily kind this year. I could never thank you enough.
Mostly though, this year has reminded me about how awesome God is. I've been a Christian most of my life, but this year has changed my relationship with the Lord in profound ways. I can feel him carrying me through this dark valley of a year, I can hear his still soft voice in times of frustration, and I have watched him protect the hearts of my children. He has been so good to me. He has surrounded me with a church family that has been absolutely amazing, and he's showered me with his love in big and small ways. I will always remember 2017 as a year of difficulty, but also as a year where I saw God show up in countless ways.
The past few days I have enjoyed being with my kids. (As we speak, they are playing the Wii and fighting with each other....oh, the joys. Ha!) We've had Christmas performances, piano recitals, family shopping days, and today we spent the day with our cousins. We went to a movie, had lunch, and decorated cookies. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for these wonderful moments with my family. I am soaking up every single moment this Christmas season, and I will always be so grateful for this time with my family. Thank you for praying for me this year. Thank you for loving me through this dark time, and thank you for always being such an encouragement to me. I will keep updating. I am here if you every have a question about breast cancer or need advice. And, I am more than happy to talk to you about the Lord. If you're going through a time when you can't hear him or you are mad at him, that's ok. I've felt that too. I would love to just encourage you to keep pressing into him. Keep seeking him, and he WILL show up. It's not always in the ways we want him to, but I promise he will never leave you. This year is a testament to that. He never once left me.
I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year! I will celebrate every moment with my family and soak up all these sweet times. And, 2018 will be a year of healing, celebration, and hopefully lots of travel. I love you all and I will always be so thankful for your loving kindness this year!
Here are the cousins getting ready to play at the piano recital. Henry was there, but I have no idea what he was doing during this picture. (PS- they all did such a great job!)
We decorated the tree after Henry's Christmas performance (as Joseph) and the girls' recital. Perfect day for sure.
This was us today watching "The Star." Henry and George are on the far left of the picture, but you can't see them. They were there though. Ha!
All 6 of the older cousins playing before lunch.
This was my LAST parking ticket thingy from Presby Dallas this year. Hallelujah!! No more appointments. No more questions, and no more black cloud hanging over my head. Here's to 2018!!
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile." Romans 1:16
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the face marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Herbrews 12:1-3
I hope I was able to live this out well this year.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the face marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Herbrews 12:1-3
I hope I was able to live this out well this year.
These are just a few of the verses that the Lord has encouraged me with this year. Honestly, his word has been like a balm to my wounded body and soul. This week I am really excited about the story of Jesus' birth. I won't type it all out, but I love it. My favorite verse in the story is:
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
Obviously, I am in a very different situation from Mary, but I still can relate to her sweet mother's heart. I feel like I am treasuring up all of the things going on right now. I will forever be grateful to God for his love and mercy. Merry Christmas, friends! May you experience the love and joy that Christ offers in a new way this Christmas season.
